I feel like my last post was pretty meaningless. I mean why am I thinking about the past so much? I think that the goal of staying in the present moment is far healthier. To be realistic, yes I had wonderful experiences back then but it does not mean I cannot have them now. I think the problem stems from a desire to have things stay the same. We know that's not even remotely possible. Life is about change. Change is inevitable and it is also the way forward. If things did not evolve and change we would not grow as humans and understand ourselves and others. It's easy to slip back and think about things like when our kids were small and how everything seemed so perfect then. Well we know that it wasn't but we do idealize it.
I will admit that time was very special to me and I adored being a mother. Not everyone feels that way and that's okay too. I was just meant for it is all. I also think I was the kind of person who felt love for more than just one individual. I think there are different kinds of love too. I'm talking about romantic love here but I do think that it can take many forms. Now that I'm older I would be far more discerning of people than I was back then. I was more forgiving. I guess it is the naivety of youth. We accept more but that doesn't necessarily make it right. I know this all sounds kind of vague but I don't regret the love I felt for people I knew back in the day. The problem seems to be that I can genuinely miss them still. If that makes any sense?
Would it even be possible to see a person twenty years later and still have the same relationship? No, most likely not because both people would have changed so much. So again it brings me back to living in the present moment. Maybe much of what we feel is just in our minds so to speak. We think we miss people but in reality if we were to meet them again it would be radically different.
I also spent some time this morning thinking about how when we speak to one another we often keep certain feelings and thoughts to ourselves. It is as if we have a hidden self. I mean I have always thought that I was a very candid and open person but not really. If I were, then I would talk about how much I miss my daughter for example. No one really wants to know about that so I keep that piece tucked away. Why would I bring it up? It would lead everyone down a sad road and even I wouldn't want to go there.
I've also thought quite a bit about how I feel the same inside as I did when I was quite young. Why is that? I feel like our inner self stays pretty static and as we grow older and experience life in all its forms we can still be that same person inside. That probably isn't very radical thinking is it?
I feel super fortunate to live in Canada. The rest of the world seems to be going to hell in a hand basket as they say! I mean what kind of a weird expression is that? It has various origins but honestly it is kind of true isn't it? Not that we are perfect here? Far from it! We have our problems to be sure but ... I won't start a political discourse here no I won't.
We did just get through a big snow storm which fortunately lasted only about a week. I for one did not drive anywhere! Ha ha ha As I write this it is very quiet outside and raining. This is typical weather here and it is a balmy 6 degrees C! Just kidding it's not that warm at 6 degrees but it's at least not the minus 12 we had!
This is a cute picture of me with my husband taken at a restaurant in Vancouver. We don't go out to eat that much because I really like my own healthy home cooked food better! Not to brag but I am a pretty good cook! I also love all the new recipes I have found on Instagram this year...especially the vegan ones! It is amazing what you can do with chickpeas and coconut milk and curry!
I also plan to post a couple of new items on my liinaloom.com tomorrow! Happy Wednesday! I hope you all have sweet dreams! If you're in our time zone that is ... lol ...
No comments:
Post a Comment