Saturday, February 12, 2011

Getting Stronger

Right now my goal is to get stronger.  I don't mean strong enough to lift a 100 lb sack of potatoes.  I mean strong enough to live my life.  As fully as I possibly can given what has happened to me.  I need to get stronger so that I can be healthier and therefore happier.  And by this I mean emotionally healthier too.  So I have started by going to the gym.  Well let's just say that I started back in October sometime or November (I think) and I was so enthusiastic that I went every day!  For several hours.  The old body just couldn't handle that kind of workout regime so my ankle became severely swollen and I was told it was probably stress fractures.  Now I say probably because I did not opt for the full body scan to prove this as I simply do not believe in running off to get fully radiated just for a swollen ankle.  Our bodies are equipped to heal themselves.  And so mine did.  Eventually.  And now I am back again!  Hurray!

So being back at the gym means going to lots of classes involving weights, mats, exercise balls, stretchy bands, and teachers that push you to do things you would only do half of on your own.  So that helps.  There is also state of the art equipment that you can work out on.  This is a whole new thing for me.  I have always exercised and gone to aerobics type classes but never did the equipment thing.  It's different.  But I can say one thing I know it will work.  To make me stronger and healthier.

So here's the thing.  Your life has beat you up somewhat.  Or lots like in my case.  So what do you do?  Lie down and die?  Give up? Well the temptation is there for some but really human beings are not meant to do that.  We are meant to keep surviving regardless of our circumstances.  In my case it is really awful...truly terrible.   But looking at the whole picture there really there are lots of good things too.  Like the people I love and the sunny days.  So what should I do then?  Give up?  No me thinks not.  So I am planning on doing the getting stronger bit.

The other thing I am planning to do is eat healthier and lose extra pounds.  Twenty to be exact.  (But really I am losing 30...even though it seems somewhat unrealistic...but hey what's a's only 10 more and if it makes me feel better to say I am going to lose 30 then so what?)  It's my fat right?  Or call it blubber if you will.  Whatever you want to call it I need to lose it so that I can be healthier and let's not forget the looking better in your clothes bit.  There are lots of people who have lost 100 lbs so what is the big deal with 30!  Right so I have now convinced myself.

So instead of snacking on  chips and salsa tonight I had a dish of broccoli and orange pepper slices with homemade yogurt ranch dressing.  It filled me up!  I also had some cheese, peanut, pretzel mix from the grocer store.  But I was careful with this and had only a bit...  Then a big glass of milk for protein which helps to rebuild the muscles after working out.  So even though my legs are sore I am excited to see the results.  And anyway it gives me a goal.  Goals are very important when you are trying to rebuild a life.  And even if you're not we all need to focus on the good things right?  But just in case you think I am only going to focus on exercise and diet that's where you are wrong!  There are many other things that make this world go round and are worth doing!  But in order to do those other things well I need to get off my derriere and get into shape!

And maybe just writing it down will help me to stay motivated about this all.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Living in Black and White

Do you ever wish you could go back and live in another era?  I sometimes do.  I like the times before the 60's because it is before I was born and I like all the styles of those times.  The 20's, the 30's, the 40's, and the 50's all seem like a more innocent time than those that we now live in.  Perhaps that is not really true because there was the Great Depression and the World Wars.  But even so life seemed simpler.  Before all this technology that came along to complicate our lives.  Now please do not misunderstand me here.  I know that it is in fact supposed to simplify our lives.  Sure.  If you buy into that.  What is simple about carrying around a device that forces you to spend inordinant amounts of time staring at it?  I mean what happened to just "doing things"?  Have we forgotten how to live?

Living is doing.  Working, playing, travelling, playing music, hiking etc etc etc.  You can't do that when you are staring at a small hand held device can you?  But not everything is black and white.  There are advantages to living in the 21st century.  I do believe there are not as many restrictions in life for women.  However that would depend on the culture you are born into.  There are many more advances in many fields that have improved our lives.  But then there is the down side.  We have begun to make huge leaps in polluting our planet.  But this is not meant to be a critique on the decades.  Just some thoughts about the bigger picture.

Some things never change though.  The desire to love and be loved.  The desire to have a decent standard of living.  To do something we love to do.  To bring up our children in a safe environment.  And so on.  Sometimes no matter what we do though we cannot control every aspect of our lives.  Some things happen that we have no control over.  And those things can profoundly affect us.  But ultimately it is important not to lose sight of the fact that we are fortunate to have a life.  And live it we should as best as we can.  And perhaps letting history be our guide.  Here is to a better 21st century!

The Fabric of our Lives

It has been a very very very long time since I posted anything on my blog. An eternity. My life has changed dramatically since those days of lilacs. I have experienced a huge tragedy in my life. Now from this I hope to inspire those that have faced adversity. Be it loss, illness, financial burdens, or whatever may trouble your weary soul. I want my posts to help others. If even for a few moments of your day when you read them.

Lately I go to random things to help me keep moving forward and living life. Sometimes it is as small as a piece of beautiful vintage fabric with a design I adore. Then with that comes the inspiration to create something of beauty. Or maybe just a palette of colours that can fit into your life, your home, your wardrobe, even your future. Sometimes we are drawn to certain patterns or colours as they reflect our lives or our memories. Did you ever have a favourite dress or shirt as a kid? I had a particular favourite. It was a blue floral pattern. It reminded me of the ocean and summer and happy days in California that seemingly went on forever. I wish I still had that dress or even the fabric from it.

But life is fleeting and complex and ever changing. Did we ever think that we would get to the place we are now? To whatever or wherever we are? I love to dip into the well of memories that was my childhood. The memories of travelling and seeing new places. A great and weary sadness has taken over my life so I need to relearn that childlike ability to find the joys of life. To eagerly anticipate the day. I need to do this in order to survive. Maybe together we can do this.