Staying in the present moment, well most of the time

I feel like my last post was pretty meaningless. I mean why am I thinking about the past so much? I think that the goal of staying in the present moment is far healthier. To be realistic, yes I had wonderful experiences back then but it does not mean I cannot have them now. I think the problem stems from a desire to have things stay the same. We know that's not even remotely possible. Life is about change. Change is inevitable and it is also the way forward. If things did not evolve and change we would not grow as humans and understand ourselves and others. It's easy to slip back and think about things like when our kids were small and how everything seemed so perfect then. Well we know that it wasn't but we do idealize it.

I will admit that time was very special to me and I adored being a mother. Not everyone feels that way and that's okay too. I was just meant for it is all. I also think I was the kind of person who felt love for more than just one individual. I think there are different kinds of love too. I'm talking about romantic love here but I do think that it can take many forms. Now that I'm older I would be far more discerning of people than I was back then. I was more forgiving. I guess it is the naivety of youth. We accept more but that doesn't necessarily make it right. I know this all sounds kind of vague but I don't regret the love I felt for people I knew back in the day. The problem seems to be that I can genuinely miss them still. If that makes any sense? 

Would it even be possible to see a person twenty years later and still have the same relationship? No, most likely not because both people would have changed so much. So again it brings me back to living in the present moment. Maybe much of what we feel is just in our minds so to speak. We think we miss people but in reality if we were to meet them again it would be radically different. 

I also spent some time this morning thinking about how when we speak to one another we often keep certain feelings and thoughts to ourselves. It is as if we have a hidden self. I mean I have always thought that I was a very candid and open person but not really. If I were, then I would talk about how much I miss my daughter for example. No one really wants to know about that so I keep that piece tucked away. Why would I bring it up? It would lead everyone down a sad road and even I wouldn't want to go there.  

I've also thought quite a bit about how I feel the same inside as I did when I was quite young. Why is that? I feel like our inner self stays pretty static and as we grow older and experience life in all its forms we can still be that same person inside. That probably isn't very radical thinking is it?

I feel super fortunate to live in Canada. The rest of the world seems to be going to hell in a hand basket as they say! I mean what kind of a weird expression is that? It has various origins but honestly it is kind of true isn't it? Not that we are perfect here? Far from it! We have our problems to be sure but ... I won't start a political discourse here no I won't.

We did just get through a big snow storm which fortunately lasted only about a week. I for one did not drive anywhere! Ha ha ha As I write this it is very quiet outside and raining. This is typical weather here and it is a balmy 6 degrees C! Just kidding it's not that warm at 6 degrees but it's at least not the minus 12 we had! 

 This is a cute picture of me with my husband taken at a restaurant in Vancouver. We don't go out to eat that much because I really like my own healthy home cooked food better! Not to brag but I am a pretty good cook! I also love all the new recipes I have found on Instagram this year...especially the vegan ones! It is amazing what you can do with chickpeas and coconut milk and curry! 

I also plan to post a couple of new items on my liinaloom.com tomorrow! Happy Wednesday! I hope you all have sweet dreams! If you're in our time zone that is ... lol ...

 

Six Years is a very Long Time

It has now been six years since I lost my daughter.  That is a very painful subject to even write about.  I don't know if I should or if I shouldn't.  This is kind of supposed to be a blog about fashion, living life to the fullest, believing in the future etc. etc.  I really love that word etc.  It allows the writer to take all the unexplainable and put it into a three letter abbreviation. It's Latin. Et means ''and'' and cetera means ''the rest''.

So if I choose not to write about my daughter in my blog I feel as if I would be living a lie. Perhaps not. Is it necessary to reveal all things in a blog? Probably not and I would say most people don't. But in my case this is part of the fibre of my existence. Something that has shaped me and continues to do so. I also feel that I would be unfaithful in a way to her. Not to bring this up. Sometimes I feel that when I read other people's blogs that there is just too much hidden. It's like that old album title: "What's been did and what's been hid" I really love that because it is so true of life. Sometimes too much is hidden and although I don't wholeheartedly think that we need to say everything I think there is something to be said for honesty.

If a blog is a personal one and you are inviting your readers to share a bit about yourself then I feel there are things that do not necessarily have to be kept secret. In fact part of my intention with this blog is to help others achieve a hopefulness of spirit despite what they have experienced or are currently going through. I think that we can often gain strength from the efforts of those around us. Isn't that what humanity should be about? Supporting one another?

So really all I can say at this point is I am trying very hard to grab hold of life. To say to myself that others go through stuff equally as difficult and survive. I have always been an optimist so that helps. It helps me to focus on the beauty in life. But hey I cannot realistically say that this hasn't taken its toll on me. I am only human and it has been a rough road to be sure.

The other thing that I thought about these last few years is how we incorporate spirituality into our lives. I have tried to glean a bit of wisdom from each and every religion that I have chosen to read about. Essentially they all kind of point to the same things. However I have had some difficulty in understanding Buddhism. I really cannot live in the present moment at all times. I find that reliving memories of happier times is actually very helpful to me. And thinking about the future seems to be built into my DNA and always has been. So we all do what we can to better our lives.

There are special memories for me. I have posted a favourite photo taken on a tour of the steps in San Francisco. We travelled there as a family and I love this picture because I was in my element. With both of my girls. That was part of who I always felt I was destined to be. A mother. It was also an essential part of me and always will be.

For those of you out there that are facing obstacles. Keep the faith. That expression simply means to not lose hope in the face of uncertainty and difficulties. The human condition is made up of that. I find what has helped me the most is to focus on working. Working at something that you love of course. I have put a great deal of time and effort into my shop and enjoy every aspect of it. It has given me purpose and something to focus on. Of course I still have a day job too and also enjoy that as well.

Scandinavian people are pretty work oriented. It does really help to be busy. But not so busy that you don't have time to take care of yourself and others around you.

Here is my photo:

Exploring San Francisco 2002

Keeping the Faith 2012 on a ship to Stockholm

So really I guess what has brought me to this point in time is being hopeful. Still hopeful about the future. Yearning often for the past but understanding that we cannot go back in time. Sadly yes this is the case. But acceptance is the key to many things. Accepting things that we cannot change. And of course working to change things that we are capable of. Don't give up. I grew up with an expression in Finnish. That we can go through even a gray rock. I tried to look for it on the internet but could not find it. Perhaps it is Swedish and my Mum had a lot of Swedish expressions too. Or maybe she made it up? Anyway it must have had some influence on me as I am still standing.

Looking Forward to next weekend in Naramata!

So I really could not resist writing about our upcoming trip to Naramata.  We have been going there now for about eleven years. My in-laws moved there from Ontario and we have seen the place evolve in so many ways. I say evolve because I believe there are many kinds of change. I see evolution as kind of a natural change and I think that the place has done so beautifully.  It has resisted the unfortunate growth that can be brought about by the wrong kind of development.  I think we all know what that means. Urban sprawl and too many ugly fast food restaurants.  This is not the case for this gem in the sea of the Okanagan.

Naramata is truly a gem. Granted it now has garnered the attention of the New York Times and probably a few of the higher end travel mags. But still a well kept secret that I believe is heaven on earth.  We first travelled there in the early 90s with our first born daughter. We kind of stumbled on it during a trip to the Okanagan and during that visit we met a lovely couple from New York who were also visiting with their little girl. We were amazed by the tranquility and peacefulness of the area. Little did we know at the time that it would indeed become a destination for the future filled with lasting memories and beautiful sunshine filled days.

 A view down the valley with grapes growing in the foreground.

 From the label of Ruby Blues wine.

 The most typical view of Manitou Beach in Naramata. And below the playground there.

Above is a pic of Wharf Park where the market is held every Wednesday and where the wind really kicks up. There is so much beauty in the area and best of all it is very quiet!  And I love the notice board and the ice cream cones from the local General Store:

Really you cannot talk about Naramata without mentioning the local vintners. Ruby Blues is definately one of my favourite wineries there.  The white Stilleto from that winery is second to none.  It is an amazing blend of Chardonnay, Pinot Gris, and Pinot Blanc grapes and the perfect summer wine. While we are on the subject of wine I have to also mention Terra Vista's Fandango, a Gold Medal Winner in 2014.

But it is truly the natural beauty that draws people to vacation here. Getting outdoors and being active is awesome!

This weekend we intend to stop at T-Bones in Penticton for crab cakes as well. It is somewhat of a Naramata tradition. We will have them with green beans from the garden, caesar salad and pair this great combination with the Noble Blend from the Joie winery.  That's the plan anyway!

You cannot go back in time. Today is the time we have. Yesterday has been and gone. We can however have the wonderful memories of yesterday and the people that we shared them with. Now is the time to create new memories. To not forget but also to live in the present moment as fully and as well as we can.

Looking forward to a wonderful weekend with family and friends, good food, good wine, and lots of exercise!