Paddington the Resilient Bear

Today Michael Bond the brilliant author and creator of Paddington Bear passed over to the other side.  A place where I like to think that no dark thoughts reside and everyone has a special bear to comfort them when feeling lost or alone. 

In reading about Mr Bond he had revealed that he also went through a very terrible period in his life where he contemplated ending it. He said that Paddington rescued him because he did not want to let the bear down by giving up. Saved by a bear of his own creation and his own imagination. 

As a small child growing up I did not have a teddy bear.  I have a very distinct memory of visiting family friends in Toronto who had a lovely large well worn bear that sat in their living room. It belonged to one of their teenage sons who obviously no longer needed it. 

 I was about six years old and while the adults chatted outside on the patio of this suburban home I would sit in a large overstuffed chair in that living room and just stare at this bear. I desperately wanted to take him home. He looked as if he would have given me comfort through thick and thin.

Alas it was not to be. For some unknown reason I received dolls for Christmas and birthdays. Bears were not in my parent's repertoire of gifts suitable for an immigrant Finnish girl. Back in those days we really did not have that many toys but were thankful for what we did have. I do however remember asking for a bear like the one I so coveted in that living room. Perhaps this was a way to create resiliency or perhaps the idea that a doll would allow me to develop my nurturing side more than a bear would. 

I really don't know the answer to this but I do know the importance of bears and stuffed animals in a child's life. Anyone who has ever had children or is around a child knows how they can love a toy like this more than any other. Now Paddington having been a displaced bear from darkest Peru made him all that much more lovable. A bear who had been given a chance with a new family. Was it Mr Bond's intention to develop empathy and kindness when he wrote the story?  

My hat goes off to Michael Bond and the imaginary world he gave to his readers all around the world. To the miracle of Paddington and his uniqueness and how

loved he was. If only our world could transcend all the barriers we have of acceptance. Perhaps we could not only enjoy these wonderful stories but also embrace the values they imparted.  Thank you Michael Bond for your gifts.

*The Paddington in the photo belonged to our first born daughter and was a special present for her first birthday.  She sadly died before the age of 20. We no longer have her but we have the bear. One of the miracles of life....the human capability to survive and become resilient.   

Six Years is a very Long Time

It has now been six years since I lost my daughter.  That is a very painful subject to even write about.  I don't know if I should or if I shouldn't.  This is kind of supposed to be a blog about fashion, living life to the fullest, believing in the future etc. etc.  I really love that word etc.  It allows the writer to take all the unexplainable and put it into a three letter abbreviation. It's Latin. Et means ''and'' and cetera means ''the rest''.

So if I choose not to write about my daughter in my blog I feel as if I would be living a lie. Perhaps not. Is it necessary to reveal all things in a blog? Probably not and I would say most people don't. But in my case this is part of the fibre of my existence. Something that has shaped me and continues to do so. I also feel that I would be unfaithful in a way to her. Not to bring this up. Sometimes I feel that when I read other people's blogs that there is just too much hidden. It's like that old album title: "What's been did and what's been hid" I really love that because it is so true of life. Sometimes too much is hidden and although I don't wholeheartedly think that we need to say everything I think there is something to be said for honesty.

If a blog is a personal one and you are inviting your readers to share a bit about yourself then I feel there are things that do not necessarily have to be kept secret. In fact part of my intention with this blog is to help others achieve a hopefulness of spirit despite what they have experienced or are currently going through. I think that we can often gain strength from the efforts of those around us. Isn't that what humanity should be about? Supporting one another?

So really all I can say at this point is I am trying very hard to grab hold of life. To say to myself that others go through stuff equally as difficult and survive. I have always been an optimist so that helps. It helps me to focus on the beauty in life. But hey I cannot realistically say that this hasn't taken its toll on me. I am only human and it has been a rough road to be sure.

The other thing that I thought about these last few years is how we incorporate spirituality into our lives. I have tried to glean a bit of wisdom from each and every religion that I have chosen to read about. Essentially they all kind of point to the same things. However I have had some difficulty in understanding Buddhism. I really cannot live in the present moment at all times. I find that reliving memories of happier times is actually very helpful to me. And thinking about the future seems to be built into my DNA and always has been. So we all do what we can to better our lives.

There are special memories for me. I have posted a favourite photo taken on a tour of the steps in San Francisco. We travelled there as a family and I love this picture because I was in my element. With both of my girls. That was part of who I always felt I was destined to be. A mother. It was also an essential part of me and always will be.

For those of you out there that are facing obstacles. Keep the faith. That expression simply means to not lose hope in the face of uncertainty and difficulties. The human condition is made up of that. I find what has helped me the most is to focus on working. Working at something that you love of course. I have put a great deal of time and effort into my shop and enjoy every aspect of it. It has given me purpose and something to focus on. Of course I still have a day job too and also enjoy that as well.

Scandinavian people are pretty work oriented. It does really help to be busy. But not so busy that you don't have time to take care of yourself and others around you.

Here is my photo:

Exploring San Francisco 2002

Keeping the Faith 2012 on a ship to Stockholm

So really I guess what has brought me to this point in time is being hopeful. Still hopeful about the future. Yearning often for the past but understanding that we cannot go back in time. Sadly yes this is the case. But acceptance is the key to many things. Accepting things that we cannot change. And of course working to change things that we are capable of. Don't give up. I grew up with an expression in Finnish. That we can go through even a gray rock. I tried to look for it on the internet but could not find it. Perhaps it is Swedish and my Mum had a lot of Swedish expressions too. Or maybe she made it up? Anyway it must have had some influence on me as I am still standing.