Six Years is a very Long Time

It has now been six years since I lost my daughter.  That is a very painful subject to even write about.  I don't know if I should or if I shouldn't.  This is kind of supposed to be a blog about fashion, living life to the fullest, believing in the future etc. etc.  I really love that word etc.  It allows the writer to take all the unexplainable and put it into a three letter abbreviation. It's Latin. Et means ''and'' and cetera means ''the rest''.

So if I choose not to write about my daughter in my blog I feel as if I would be living a lie. Perhaps not. Is it necessary to reveal all things in a blog? Probably not and I would say most people don't. But in my case this is part of the fibre of my existence. Something that has shaped me and continues to do so. I also feel that I would be unfaithful in a way to her. Not to bring this up. Sometimes I feel that when I read other people's blogs that there is just too much hidden. It's like that old album title: "What's been did and what's been hid" I really love that because it is so true of life. Sometimes too much is hidden and although I don't wholeheartedly think that we need to say everything I think there is something to be said for honesty.

If a blog is a personal one and you are inviting your readers to share a bit about yourself then I feel there are things that do not necessarily have to be kept secret. In fact part of my intention with this blog is to help others achieve a hopefulness of spirit despite what they have experienced or are currently going through. I think that we can often gain strength from the efforts of those around us. Isn't that what humanity should be about? Supporting one another?

So really all I can say at this point is I am trying very hard to grab hold of life. To say to myself that others go through stuff equally as difficult and survive. I have always been an optimist so that helps. It helps me to focus on the beauty in life. But hey I cannot realistically say that this hasn't taken its toll on me. I am only human and it has been a rough road to be sure.

The other thing that I thought about these last few years is how we incorporate spirituality into our lives. I have tried to glean a bit of wisdom from each and every religion that I have chosen to read about. Essentially they all kind of point to the same things. However I have had some difficulty in understanding Buddhism. I really cannot live in the present moment at all times. I find that reliving memories of happier times is actually very helpful to me. And thinking about the future seems to be built into my DNA and always has been. So we all do what we can to better our lives.

There are special memories for me. I have posted a favourite photo taken on a tour of the steps in San Francisco. We travelled there as a family and I love this picture because I was in my element. With both of my girls. That was part of who I always felt I was destined to be. A mother. It was also an essential part of me and always will be.

For those of you out there that are facing obstacles. Keep the faith. That expression simply means to not lose hope in the face of uncertainty and difficulties. The human condition is made up of that. I find what has helped me the most is to focus on working. Working at something that you love of course. I have put a great deal of time and effort into my shop and enjoy every aspect of it. It has given me purpose and something to focus on. Of course I still have a day job too and also enjoy that as well.

Scandinavian people are pretty work oriented. It does really help to be busy. But not so busy that you don't have time to take care of yourself and others around you.

Here is my photo:

Exploring San Francisco 2002

Keeping the Faith 2012 on a ship to Stockholm

So really I guess what has brought me to this point in time is being hopeful. Still hopeful about the future. Yearning often for the past but understanding that we cannot go back in time. Sadly yes this is the case. But acceptance is the key to many things. Accepting things that we cannot change. And of course working to change things that we are capable of. Don't give up. I grew up with an expression in Finnish. That we can go through even a gray rock. I tried to look for it on the internet but could not find it. Perhaps it is Swedish and my Mum had a lot of Swedish expressions too. Or maybe she made it up? Anyway it must have had some influence on me as I am still standing.

Looking Forward to next weekend in Naramata!

So I really could not resist writing about our upcoming trip to Naramata.  We have been going there now for about eleven years. My in-laws moved there from Ontario and we have seen the place evolve in so many ways. I say evolve because I believe there are many kinds of change. I see evolution as kind of a natural change and I think that the place has done so beautifully.  It has resisted the unfortunate growth that can be brought about by the wrong kind of development.  I think we all know what that means. Urban sprawl and too many ugly fast food restaurants.  This is not the case for this gem in the sea of the Okanagan.

Naramata is truly a gem. Granted it now has garnered the attention of the New York Times and probably a few of the higher end travel mags. But still a well kept secret that I believe is heaven on earth.  We first travelled there in the early 90s with our first born daughter. We kind of stumbled on it during a trip to the Okanagan and during that visit we met a lovely couple from New York who were also visiting with their little girl. We were amazed by the tranquility and peacefulness of the area. Little did we know at the time that it would indeed become a destination for the future filled with lasting memories and beautiful sunshine filled days.

 A view down the valley with grapes growing in the foreground.

 From the label of Ruby Blues wine.

 The most typical view of Manitou Beach in Naramata. And below the playground there.

Above is a pic of Wharf Park where the market is held every Wednesday and where the wind really kicks up. There is so much beauty in the area and best of all it is very quiet!  And I love the notice board and the ice cream cones from the local General Store:

Really you cannot talk about Naramata without mentioning the local vintners. Ruby Blues is definately one of my favourite wineries there.  The white Stilleto from that winery is second to none.  It is an amazing blend of Chardonnay, Pinot Gris, and Pinot Blanc grapes and the perfect summer wine. While we are on the subject of wine I have to also mention Terra Vista's Fandango, a Gold Medal Winner in 2014.

But it is truly the natural beauty that draws people to vacation here. Getting outdoors and being active is awesome!

This weekend we intend to stop at T-Bones in Penticton for crab cakes as well. It is somewhat of a Naramata tradition. We will have them with green beans from the garden, caesar salad and pair this great combination with the Noble Blend from the Joie winery.  That's the plan anyway!

You cannot go back in time. Today is the time we have. Yesterday has been and gone. We can however have the wonderful memories of yesterday and the people that we shared them with. Now is the time to create new memories. To not forget but also to live in the present moment as fully and as well as we can.

Looking forward to a wonderful weekend with family and friends, good food, good wine, and lots of exercise!

The Fabric of our Lives

It has been a very very very long time since I posted anything on my blog. An eternity. My life has changed dramatically since those days of lilacs. I have experienced a huge tragedy in my life. Now from this I hope to inspire those that have faced adversity. Be it loss, illness, financial burdens, or whatever may trouble your weary soul. I want my posts to help others. If even for a few moments of your day when you read them.

Lately I go to random things to help me keep moving forward and living life. Sometimes it is as small as a piece of beautiful vintage fabric with a design I adore. Then with that comes the inspiration to create something of beauty. Or maybe just a palette of colours that can fit into your life, your home, your wardrobe, even your future. Sometimes we are drawn to certain patterns or colours as they reflect our lives or our memories. Did you ever have a favourite dress or shirt as a kid? I had a particular favourite. It was a blue floral pattern. It reminded me of the ocean and summer and happy days in California that seemingly went on forever. I wish I still had that dress or even the fabric from it.

But life is fleeting and complex and ever changing. Did we ever think that we would get to the place we are now? To whatever or wherever we are? I love to dip into the well of memories that was my childhood. The memories of travelling and seeing new places. A great and weary sadness has taken over my life so I need to relearn that childlike ability to find the joys of life. To eagerly anticipate the day. I need to do this in order to survive. Maybe together we can do this.