I love you just the way you are!

 "Don't go changing to try and please me, You never let me down before,

I would not leave you in times of trouble, I took the good times, I'll take the bad times 

I'll take you just the way you are .... "

If you're not familiar with the song I'll refresh your memory.  Billy Joel wrote this in the 70s and I have spent the week listening to Diana Krall's five minute version of it on her 2002 Album Live in Paris that won both a Grammy and a Juno in 2003  and is absolutely beautiful. 

I don't know about you but I listen to so many different types of music depending on my day.  I read that dogs like jazz ... do they? Anyway dogs do like music in general so I have been playing Diana Krall a lot this week. Of course I feel a certain devotion to her because she is from Nanaimo, BC and currently does live on the Island. We call Vancouver Island ''The Island." 

I want to think of this song in terms of the people I know and also in terms of myself! I think too often we look for the ways in which we feel we could improve upon ourselves but seldom think that perhaps we are just fine the way we are!  These days social media is continually telling us that we are not enough! We need these "things" or these "products" to make ourselves feel better. Do we really though? Perhaps we could take the approach that we love ourselves "just the way we are" and the people we know "just the way they are" instead of  thinking otherwise.

Of course there is nothing wrong with self improvement but self acceptance is much underrated.  Also do you ever find yourself wishing someone you knew was different? Perhaps more punctual, more attentive, a better listener, or knew more about a subject you enjoy? What if you just focused on the things you do like about that person or yourself? In other words saying, "I love you just the way your are!" 

I think Billy Joel really captured the feeling in the rhythm of the song as well, when he wrote it. As we move through life maybe try looking through a different lens, a lens of acceptance. I feel our world would be a better place for it. 

Have a wonderful weekend! 

Staying in the present moment, well most of the time

I feel like my last post was pretty meaningless. I mean why am I thinking about the past so much? I think that the goal of staying in the present moment is far healthier. To be realistic, yes I had wonderful experiences back then but it does not mean I cannot have them now. I think the problem stems from a desire to have things stay the same. We know that's not even remotely possible. Life is about change. Change is inevitable and it is also the way forward. If things did not evolve and change we would not grow as humans and understand ourselves and others. It's easy to slip back and think about things like when our kids were small and how everything seemed so perfect then. Well we know that it wasn't but we do idealize it.

I will admit that time was very special to me and I adored being a mother. Not everyone feels that way and that's okay too. I was just meant for it is all. I also think I was the kind of person who felt love for more than just one individual. I think there are different kinds of love too. I'm talking about romantic love here but I do think that it can take many forms. Now that I'm older I would be far more discerning of people than I was back then. I was more forgiving. I guess it is the naivety of youth. We accept more but that doesn't necessarily make it right. I know this all sounds kind of vague but I don't regret the love I felt for people I knew back in the day. The problem seems to be that I can genuinely miss them still. If that makes any sense? 

Would it even be possible to see a person twenty years later and still have the same relationship? No, most likely not because both people would have changed so much. So again it brings me back to living in the present moment. Maybe much of what we feel is just in our minds so to speak. We think we miss people but in reality if we were to meet them again it would be radically different. 

I also spent some time this morning thinking about how when we speak to one another we often keep certain feelings and thoughts to ourselves. It is as if we have a hidden self. I mean I have always thought that I was a very candid and open person but not really. If I were, then I would talk about how much I miss my daughter for example. No one really wants to know about that so I keep that piece tucked away. Why would I bring it up? It would lead everyone down a sad road and even I wouldn't want to go there.  

I've also thought quite a bit about how I feel the same inside as I did when I was quite young. Why is that? I feel like our inner self stays pretty static and as we grow older and experience life in all its forms we can still be that same person inside. That probably isn't very radical thinking is it?

I feel super fortunate to live in Canada. The rest of the world seems to be going to hell in a hand basket as they say! I mean what kind of a weird expression is that? It has various origins but honestly it is kind of true isn't it? Not that we are perfect here? Far from it! We have our problems to be sure but ... I won't start a political discourse here no I won't.

We did just get through a big snow storm which fortunately lasted only about a week. I for one did not drive anywhere! Ha ha ha As I write this it is very quiet outside and raining. This is typical weather here and it is a balmy 6 degrees C! Just kidding it's not that warm at 6 degrees but it's at least not the minus 12 we had! 

 This is a cute picture of me with my husband taken at a restaurant in Vancouver. We don't go out to eat that much because I really like my own healthy home cooked food better! Not to brag but I am a pretty good cook! I also love all the new recipes I have found on Instagram this year...especially the vegan ones! It is amazing what you can do with chickpeas and coconut milk and curry! 

I also plan to post a couple of new items on my liinaloom.com tomorrow! Happy Wednesday! I hope you all have sweet dreams! If you're in our time zone that is ... lol ...

 

Paddington the Resilient Bear

Today Michael Bond the brilliant author and creator of Paddington Bear passed over to the other side.  A place where I like to think that no dark thoughts reside and everyone has a special bear to comfort them when feeling lost or alone. 

In reading about Mr Bond he had revealed that he also went through a very terrible period in his life where he contemplated ending it. He said that Paddington rescued him because he did not want to let the bear down by giving up. Saved by a bear of his own creation and his own imagination. 

As a small child growing up I did not have a teddy bear.  I have a very distinct memory of visiting family friends in Toronto who had a lovely large well worn bear that sat in their living room. It belonged to one of their teenage sons who obviously no longer needed it. 

 I was about six years old and while the adults chatted outside on the patio of this suburban home I would sit in a large overstuffed chair in that living room and just stare at this bear. I desperately wanted to take him home. He looked as if he would have given me comfort through thick and thin.

Alas it was not to be. For some unknown reason I received dolls for Christmas and birthdays. Bears were not in my parent's repertoire of gifts suitable for an immigrant Finnish girl. Back in those days we really did not have that many toys but were thankful for what we did have. I do however remember asking for a bear like the one I so coveted in that living room. Perhaps this was a way to create resiliency or perhaps the idea that a doll would allow me to develop my nurturing side more than a bear would. 

I really don't know the answer to this but I do know the importance of bears and stuffed animals in a child's life. Anyone who has ever had children or is around a child knows how they can love a toy like this more than any other. Now Paddington having been a displaced bear from darkest Peru made him all that much more lovable. A bear who had been given a chance with a new family. Was it Mr Bond's intention to develop empathy and kindness when he wrote the story?  

My hat goes off to Michael Bond and the imaginary world he gave to his readers all around the world. To the miracle of Paddington and his uniqueness and how

loved he was. If only our world could transcend all the barriers we have of acceptance. Perhaps we could not only enjoy these wonderful stories but also embrace the values they imparted.  Thank you Michael Bond for your gifts.

*The Paddington in the photo belonged to our first born daughter and was a special present for her first birthday.  She sadly died before the age of 20. We no longer have her but we have the bear. One of the miracles of life....the human capability to survive and become resilient.