I love you just the way you are!

 "Don't go changing to try and please me, You never let me down before,

I would not leave you in times of trouble, I took the good times, I'll take the bad times 

I'll take you just the way you are .... "

If you're not familiar with the song I'll refresh your memory.  Billy Joel wrote this in the 70s and I have spent the week listening to Diana Krall's five minute version of it on her 2002 Album Live in Paris that won both a Grammy and a Juno in 2003  and is absolutely beautiful. 

I don't know about you but I listen to so many different types of music depending on my day.  I read that dogs like jazz ... do they? Anyway dogs do like music in general so I have been playing Diana Krall a lot this week. Of course I feel a certain devotion to her because she is from Nanaimo, BC and currently does live on the Island. We call Vancouver Island ''The Island." 

I want to think of this song in terms of the people I know and also in terms of myself! I think too often we look for the ways in which we feel we could improve upon ourselves but seldom think that perhaps we are just fine the way we are!  These days social media is continually telling us that we are not enough! We need these "things" or these "products" to make ourselves feel better. Do we really though? Perhaps we could take the approach that we love ourselves "just the way we are" and the people we know "just the way they are" instead of  thinking otherwise.

Of course there is nothing wrong with self improvement but self acceptance is much underrated.  Also do you ever find yourself wishing someone you knew was different? Perhaps more punctual, more attentive, a better listener, or knew more about a subject you enjoy? What if you just focused on the things you do like about that person or yourself? In other words saying, "I love you just the way your are!" 

I think Billy Joel really captured the feeling in the rhythm of the song as well, when he wrote it. As we move through life maybe try looking through a different lens, a lens of acceptance. I feel our world would be a better place for it. 

Have a wonderful weekend! 

Julie

Tomorrow I am going to be meeting a friend for coffee. Her name is Julie and we met several years ago on the picket lines during the teacher's strike. We walked a lot together. When I first met Julie I thought she was incredibly beautiful and smart. I almost felt like she would not want to continue our friendship once the strike ended. I'm not sure why I felt that but I think it was because of my overriding sense that she was somehow better than I am. Which is truly a ridiculous thought.  However not really if you came to understand that I was a child of immigrant parents and often when you move from your home country to somewhere new there is a period of adjustment. 

In my case it was first the language barrier which only took me a couple of years to cross because I was a young child. Secondly there was this other feeling that I didn't dress the same as the other kids and didn't necessarily fit into their peer groups. I did have friends in school for sure but I always felt that there was this group of kids that were better dressed and socially more skilled at navigating the peer landscape than I was. I am only trying to figure out where this feeling of inferiority came from. I mean my parents always made me feel like I was the cutest and the brightest but fitting in at school wasn't always easy.

What does this have to do with Julie? Well even though my past experiences made me think that she wouldn't carry on our friendship this was far from the truth. I think I always had an inner confidence and in high school felt pride about my background but these feelings that you have as a young child can certainly impact the way you see yourself in later years. We had no difficulty in becoming friends and I am certainly glad for it because she is the type of person that really ''gets me?'' We laugh a lot at circumstances and experiences in our lives. I think it is one of the healthiest kinds of relationships, being able to laugh and feel free to speak your mind.

I don't see Julie nearly enough and of course the pandemic did not help! The pandemic put a full stop to so many things! We cannot even measure the full weight of what it has done to society. I'm just glad that for now we are able to once again see friends and family. 

Tomorrow we will probably spend far too much time catching up and of course laughing. I tend to be very much a homebody these days so it will be good to get out a bit. I don't mind that really because I absolutely love doing things at home. We also have two dogs to take care of and they love me being at home as well. Even though I have been toying with the idea of going back to work. That remains to be seen!

 I know that since losing our child I did also lose that feeling of wanting to socialize. When I was younger I had a lot of friends. After a loss it changes you. You do become more insular and partly you are trying to readjust to your environment and navigate it somehow,  because inwardly you have changed so you are basically re-introducing yourself to the world as a different person.  

Here is a plant pot that I purchased this winter with pine cones on it and a favourite breakfast of mine. It is not one I have everyday but it is waffles or pancakes with blueberries, Greek yogurt, and maple syrup.  

 

Staying in the present moment, well most of the time

I feel like my last post was pretty meaningless. I mean why am I thinking about the past so much? I think that the goal of staying in the present moment is far healthier. To be realistic, yes I had wonderful experiences back then but it does not mean I cannot have them now. I think the problem stems from a desire to have things stay the same. We know that's not even remotely possible. Life is about change. Change is inevitable and it is also the way forward. If things did not evolve and change we would not grow as humans and understand ourselves and others. It's easy to slip back and think about things like when our kids were small and how everything seemed so perfect then. Well we know that it wasn't but we do idealize it.

I will admit that time was very special to me and I adored being a mother. Not everyone feels that way and that's okay too. I was just meant for it is all. I also think I was the kind of person who felt love for more than just one individual. I think there are different kinds of love too. I'm talking about romantic love here but I do think that it can take many forms. Now that I'm older I would be far more discerning of people than I was back then. I was more forgiving. I guess it is the naivety of youth. We accept more but that doesn't necessarily make it right. I know this all sounds kind of vague but I don't regret the love I felt for people I knew back in the day. The problem seems to be that I can genuinely miss them still. If that makes any sense? 

Would it even be possible to see a person twenty years later and still have the same relationship? No, most likely not because both people would have changed so much. So again it brings me back to living in the present moment. Maybe much of what we feel is just in our minds so to speak. We think we miss people but in reality if we were to meet them again it would be radically different. 

I also spent some time this morning thinking about how when we speak to one another we often keep certain feelings and thoughts to ourselves. It is as if we have a hidden self. I mean I have always thought that I was a very candid and open person but not really. If I were, then I would talk about how much I miss my daughter for example. No one really wants to know about that so I keep that piece tucked away. Why would I bring it up? It would lead everyone down a sad road and even I wouldn't want to go there.  

I've also thought quite a bit about how I feel the same inside as I did when I was quite young. Why is that? I feel like our inner self stays pretty static and as we grow older and experience life in all its forms we can still be that same person inside. That probably isn't very radical thinking is it?

I feel super fortunate to live in Canada. The rest of the world seems to be going to hell in a hand basket as they say! I mean what kind of a weird expression is that? It has various origins but honestly it is kind of true isn't it? Not that we are perfect here? Far from it! We have our problems to be sure but ... I won't start a political discourse here no I won't.

We did just get through a big snow storm which fortunately lasted only about a week. I for one did not drive anywhere! Ha ha ha As I write this it is very quiet outside and raining. This is typical weather here and it is a balmy 6 degrees C! Just kidding it's not that warm at 6 degrees but it's at least not the minus 12 we had! 

 This is a cute picture of me with my husband taken at a restaurant in Vancouver. We don't go out to eat that much because I really like my own healthy home cooked food better! Not to brag but I am a pretty good cook! I also love all the new recipes I have found on Instagram this year...especially the vegan ones! It is amazing what you can do with chickpeas and coconut milk and curry! 

I also plan to post a couple of new items on my liinaloom.com tomorrow! Happy Wednesday! I hope you all have sweet dreams! If you're in our time zone that is ... lol ...

 

Get Back, Get Back, Get Back to where you once belonged ...

Okay I decided I definitely had better get back to writing. I mean it's simply not productive to just "think" about what I want to write. I need to Get Back to it. The only way is through doing it. I have so many unwritten things I need to finish. I tend to just read the news lately. I am almost forced into it when I link my shop to different sites. Then I go down the bunny trail of reading news items that really can bring you down.

So looking back I can say I spent far too much time making reels for Instagram for my shop. I mean I enjoyed the creative aspect of that, especially finding music because I love music but it didn't really bring customers my way as much as I had hoped. I started liinaloom.com to have my own website and it's really cool for sure but liinaloom on Etsy has more sales.

What do I dream of? For some reason I dream about going to a rural community and teaching again! My first teaching job was when I was 24 years old and I moved to Clearwater, BC. I taught in a little school called Dutch Lake Elementary! I mean how cute is that? It really was, all of it! I loved teaching and I had a lot of friends most of whom were also teachers! My next door neighbour was Indira Chauhan and she taught in the same school I did. We had so much fun comparing notes about the funny things the kids would say.  She almost had an arranged marriage but decided against it and ended up marrying a local guy who wasn't Indian.  We never kept in touch but I sincerely hope they were happy together. 

The only downside of going to Clearwater was that I left the love of my life back on Vancouver Island. I dated so many other guys but no one compared to him. We fell in love when we were only 19 so what can I say other than it was my first love. Isn't that always the best one? Well if not it so often is the ''idealized one''. The distance between us was too great to keep us together and so the relationship ended when he met someone else. I feel like that coloured my entire life. Maybe coloured isn't the right word, more like tainted? I'm not sure but if I were to be honest here it did interfere with me finding someone. I eventually did get married and we were a good match but I do often reflect on what life would have been like had I married the first love guy.  As you may have guessed I won't be divulging his real name ha ha ha , hereinafter referred to as ''the first love guy''. 

Here are our two beautiful dogs Shiloh and Finn! Shiloh is a puppy and is the white one with the tan and black face and black spots and Finn is the black and white one! Shiloh is a handful because she is still a puppy!

I feel like I have always been a writer at heart but not particularly an accomplished one. I mean I think what I write is good but does anyone else? That remains to be seen if I can actually get something published. I will try! One of my books that is half written is so close to my heart that I honestly think of the characters as people I know! Yeah! Weird isn't it? I imagine they have these lives that I have created of course. The main character is currently on the West Coast of Washington state and I need for her to keep moving forward in this story!  It's a pretty exciting one and she left her old life behind in Vancouver BC to work in this remote place. I guess I better not give too much of it away but honestly I want her to have a kind of spiritual awakening! I'm not indigenous so I can't really write about the original people of the area without prior knowledge of their roots and ancestry but I would love to be able to go down that path.

I will however let you know if I have continued to write. In the meantime if you're bored you could always check out my shops! I have the one I mentioned earlier liinaloom.com and honestly the clothes are in such amazing shape for vintage. That's because I handpick everything. I also have liinaloom.etsy.com and stonehousechic.etsy.com 

I'm going to post some fun pics now! Here's one of me with my daughter when we were visiting the capital city of BC, Victoria. I looked through all my pics of the past year and was surprised I had almost none! I'm wearing this weird hat here, just forgive me for that okay? Catch ya later! In the slow lane! ha ha ha 

       

Aah it has been awhile! As in two plus years! Yes, it was over two years ago that we were able to visit Hawaii.  Now?  Now we really cannot travel.  Yes,

for our own safety and the safety of others.  It seems hard to believe that in just over two years this crisis in the world has occurred.  The pandemic situation.  If you think about it too much it can eventually ruin your perspective on life.  I know that sounds dramatic I know, but this is true.  Of course we must all face it and think about it.  Of course.  But we can't become consumed with it.  That would lead to many problems. So it is best to try to live life to the fullest under the constraints that have been placed upon us.

I for one am still carrying on with my Etsy shop Liinaloom. You can find it at etsy.com/ca/shop/Liinaloom. I feel that the quality of my clothing has increased over the years as I am able to really discern what is of value and and what isn't in terms of vintage.  I love the fact that it is the most sustainable option for everyone.  Re-using clothing.  What could be better?  

On the home front we are still living in Coquitlam near Vancouver.  I suppose you might surmise that we have been extraordinarily fortunate in this regard.  Our province has fared very well during the pandemic comparitively speaking of course. 

I am still going to work on my book ideas.  Well the one book is almost one third written.  I like to call it my 'adult' novel which it really isn't!  Ha ha ... that just means its a book for adults.  It is set on the Olympic peninsula in Washington State. The main character is a middle aged woman who goes to a small town there to run an art gallery.  She has left behind a lot of grief and pain in Vancouver, BC and is on kind of a spiritual and physical journey.  I have really grown to love the characters in a weird way.  I mean after all I made them up!  So they are kind of part of me in a sense but they are fictional.  

I think about them quite a bit and how I might write their stories.  That has been a lot of fun and I need to get back to it soon as I seem to be caught up in my Etsy shop most of the time.

I also started planting a garden!  Well a patio garden really.  Lots of veggies which are super awesome to go out and pick just before dinner!  I have really enjoyed it.  I will post some pictures here for you.  The flower at the top of this post is my Clematis.  It really bloomed this year!

Time to go and bake some chocolate chip cookies!  I bought Callebaut chocolate but because everyone in the area is on a bit of a baking craze all the dark chocolate was sold out so I had to settle for milk chocolate.  Lol... Not that much of a problem! I really do have lots to update everyone on so I promise to come back tomorrow!  In the meantime stay safe and take care!  xoxoxoxo

A Finnish Canadian visits Maui

So here I am back at home in Canada watching the snow fall and wondering if I had dreamt that visit to Maui?  It was my first time and I have to admit that I did not have a burning desire to go and see the enchanted Hawaiian Islands.  But circumstances prevailed starting with a failed Alaska Airlines flight to San Diego. Hence we received a voucher which always forces you to take another trip somewhere whether you like it or not! lol!  Forced to go to Maui! But hey lets be real here...you would not otherwise spend thousands of dollars on the other trip if it wasn't for that darn voucher!

Luck would have it and we ended up with a super cute place at a condo complex called Pacific Shores. It was literally steps away from a beautiful beach called Charlie Young. After I researched Maui I wanted us to be able to walk to things without always relying on a vehicle so I settled on South Kihei.  Very nice!  Very walkable.  Of course that would depend on perspective.  Not everyone wants to haul their groceries in a backpack several blocks but I welcomed the opportunity to use my back muscles rather than alway sitting in that Honda Fit I drive. As much as I am attached to my vehicle I also value my health.

The condo was wonderful! (minus the teflon pots and pans....please not teflon that is scratched!!) Note to owners who rent out condos....it is not healthy or pleasant to eat flakes of teflon with your dinner. The whole point of a condo is so you can do some cooking... of course we enjoyed a few local restaurants too.  Aside from that Pacific Shores was awesome!  The pool was beautifully maintained and had these tiny little blue tiles.... pretty!

My first impression of Maui was that there were more cars than I expected! I guess I thought it would be a deserted Island? Yes I'm afraid I did have some romantic notions of secluded beaches. I'm sure they are around...in fact I know they are...but we just did not go there.  This is where Charlie Young really shone....very peaceful and not overcrowded.  Just lots of turtles!  And wonderful soft sand to walk on.

I was weird in Maui because I had to go and hunt for vintage clothing for my shop... Of course there were dozens of Hawaiian Shirts!!  Of course!  But I wasn't interested in those.  I was looking for buried treasure which yes I did manage to find.  You can access it on my website which is now on Etsy as well as at www.liinaloom.com  I liked the things I found but unfortunately I had a bit of an overweight suitcase issue when checking in at the airport!  Next time I will bring a bigger carry on.

Maui has very blue ocean...very mild weather...and very very very tropical rain. The one night it rained so hard that I thought we would have to be evacuated!  It was quite something to listen to. The busy market area a few blocks up was super flooded.... but somehow it all just added to the excitement.  I will say that 8 nights was not quite long enough.  Every place has its own rhythm and I felt that I was just becoming adjusted to Maui time when we had to go.

I have some pictures here to share! The first one is an amazing reclaimed wood framed picture of dozens of surfboards that was in the living room of our two bedroom Pacific Shores condo.  We rented it out through vrbo and it was great! The second photo is of my daughter and myself on our first day in Maui heading to Charlie Young beach. The other photos are of Charlie Young Beach.

How Strong is your Need to Write?

This post is a bit of an admonishment to myself for spending years writing on scraps of paper and then losing those scraps into the many boxes of children's art work and unopened mail and mementos of places visited.  Not sure if anyone can relate to this but life was so busy for years with work and family that writing efforts were more than once shelved.  

So now I ask myself how strong was my need to write? I would say very strong. Perhaps even very very....strong. I continued the link throughout our children's childhood with little stories here and there and nightly made up vignettes that sometimes became popular enough to turn into weekly bedtime series. 

Okay well pat myself on the back? no no no!  I chide myself (you may notice that I use Merriam-Webster's definitions of gentle reprimand in my use of these words) for not having pursued writing more seriously. The only thing I can do now is to continue writing! I cannot find or retrieve any lost stories so I have to continue anew but with more of a goal and vision than in the past.

What about you? How strong is your need to write? Is it compelling enough for you to keep a daily journal? That would be an excellent beginning!  Start one now! Not a haphazard one that only receives bi-yearly contributions but a from the gut actions and feelings to words kind of documenting. Okay if you don't want to spill your emotions on every single page then just write down what you did that day....it all constitutes writing.

If you are at all serious about this you know that writers are the most keen observers of life around them. Typically we are not as self absorbed as some and tend to easily find other people and situations engaging.  Which of course is why we like to write! So if you choose to not write about yourself you can always document your observations.

So start today if you can. Grab that journal that has been gathering dust in your ''gifts I don't know what to do with'' pile and begin to open a window for your untapped creativity. It may just become the therapy you have been needing for a very long time or perhaps a way to focus on your goals....writing down what needs to happen in your life and what has already been.  

I hope that in your day you find something that inspires you to write it down.  I found this copy of an old journal that belonged to my daughter and decided that an early morning wake up at 5:30 am with a good cup of strong coffee and a vintage Christmas lantern were all I needed to revive the writing arm.  Happy journaling!

Happy Writing!